TRAPPED IN A SNARE

I am Jane Iskah Oyora, a second Born in a family of 16. Being in a large and polygamous family, my parents could not afford my school fees since they never had reliable income.  At the age 12 while in class six, one of my Aunts took me in to live with her and saw me through primary school. I could not proceed to secondary school due to financial constraints. She however opted to take me for a tailoring training course which I did and completed.

At the age of seventeen, out of school and pursuing my tailoring career, I fell in the trappings of a love life with a man much older than me. This relationship did not however last long since the guy disappeared only to learn later that he had been arrested and was serving a jail term for undisclosed reasons.

At the age of 21, I met another man who we later settled down with.  This is when I visited a much older cousin who was married in some neighboring village, she introduced me to this man who took me with him to Nairobi that evening. I later learnt later that we were in Kibra Soweto slums, with hope that the transition from village to town set up would bring me the opportunity to have a better life with my tailoring skills.

Life gave me a rude shock when I found myself in a single room muddy house with a man who was just a labourer who would lock me in the house to stop me from looking for jobs to sustain myself, he could hardly afford the basic needs.

I would soon realize that I had settled into an abusive relationship where violence was the order of the day. There was no love at all but I had to stay.

During this period, I had three miscarriages which were as a result of frequent domestic violence, my husband would spend most of his time at the chang’aa den and leave me with no food to eat at home.

In the midst of all the stress of physical, emotional and psychological abuse, I started having frequent illness. With no money of my own, and with a husband who did not care; I could not seek proper medical care.

It is in my third still birth that I was taken to the hospital with my brother and got an opportunity for a comprehensive medical examination.  I was tested for HIV and to my shock the test was positive. My world shattered and it looked like life was coming to a tragic end. The pain was even made worse when I learnt that my spouse knew very well that he was living with HIV and infected me without even caring.

I put on ARVS. I conceived again the fourth time, but unluckily my husband felt ill and died when I was three months on. We laid him to rest at home in the village then I came back to Nairobi to try to make a meaning out of the broken life.

It was a painful and difficult experience; jobless, sickly, pregnant and without financial support system.

It is in this stressful time that I decided to pick up my broken pieces. With support from friends I restarted my tailoring work which along with other odd jobs enabled me get some money to take care of my child. Back in the village my mother in law turned against me selling all the land leaving me and the child with no place to call home. 

I remarried after some years of struggle, and did a church wedding with hope of getting a place to call my home. Unfortunately, the marriage did not last, leaving me with five months pregnancy. I was blessed with a baby boy and assumed the position of being the father and mother of the two kids who are both healthy and not positive. 

So far so good, God has sustained my tailoring business and I thank him for being faithful. Each day I draw strength hoping for better days ahead.